...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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