I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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