were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
