I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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