would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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