11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
