You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
