Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
