He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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