all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
