The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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