Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
