fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize