I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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