Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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