i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
