Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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