Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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