Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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