Someone shit on the floor
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
