fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
