just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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