i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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