i barfeds in our rink
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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