We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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