Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
