dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
