Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
