and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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