finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
