I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
