pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
