Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize