i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
