I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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