I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
barbara walters just said penis...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she smelled like a LAN party
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
