Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
