I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize