i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
