We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
