The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize