So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
