she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
