he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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