Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize