Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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