And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
