How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
