tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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