I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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