Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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