I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
