dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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