i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
