So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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