I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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