You can't motorboat a personality
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
