I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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